firstlight | Thinking Writerly Thoughts

...also the thought of Hakkai being obsessed with details of anatomy - thinking of movements in terms of the way bones and muscles shift, looking at facial structure as a product of the underlying bones, stuff like that - is playing around in my mind again. Possibly I used it in a story long ago, but I'd have to go back and re-read my old Saiyuki stuff to find out and I'm not sure I have the nerve. But basically, one day there should probably be a story about Hakkai titled The Skull Beneath The Skin or something equally predictable. In it he can really, really obsess over death, as a process. The technical side of things, if you will. I have various other ideas. If you're lucky I will never get around to writing them. Yes, of course I have read the PD James book of the same name. Erm.

Anyway, it's horribly self-inserty, given my profession and area of specialisation and the way it alters my view of the world. Though, I think that's okay if it's also IC for the character in question. Fanfiction is inherently self-indulgent anyway, I suppose, to some degree or other.

A lot of things I write in fandom have various bits of myself in them and I don't think that's a bad thing. Is it?

Curiosity makes me ask: how much of yourself do you think comes through in your stories? What sorts of things? Do you like or dislike adapting things that have happened to you or quirks possessed by you or people around you to fit characters? How much is too much?

And why is the a cat sitting on top of the (computer) mouse?

Some of life's greatest mysteries... (Oh, wait. The answer to that last one is because I refused to feed her so she's pointedly sulking at me. Even though she has eaten, having stolen a quantity of lasagne in the early hours of the morning.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Stolen food doesn't count, of course. No calories in stolen food....

Loads of stuff about me comes through my fics. It doesn't help that I'm attracted to characters that share some of my character ~~flaws~~ traits, so it's easy to get carried away. As for applying your own knowledge and specialisms to your character... I have a lot of Watari doing SPSS fic somewhere, and of course it's very easy to see some of my management struggles in Squall's leadership angst, or Hakkai's nagging. I have to check all the time whether my characters are analysing situations themselves or whether it's scribbles-the-sociologist at work. In my original fic I have to watch out for scribbles-the-campaigner and then there's politics... argh.

Then again, one of the reasons I write it so share my outlook and views on the world, in which case, why be so shy of it?

It's a worry when it comes to characterisation, but at some level I think every writer has to accept that not only will they inevitably appear in their own fics, whether they like it or not, but actually this is where your unique voice and style comes from, and if you supress it too much your writing can get very stale and formulaeic. Draw from the richness that's around you, and so long as your characters are still themselves and your story is coherent and consistent, what the fuck, eh?

(Also, Hakkai would most definitely be fascinated by anatomy. That's something you share, I think, not something that's imposed by your world view. Exploit it, is my advice! ^_^)

I think the little bits of ourselves affect how we interpret a character and how we characterize them, but that makes it fun and unique within the framework of "canon".

I can see how that affects my interpretation and characterization of Yukimura. I haven't really shown it I suppose since I don't write but way before 40.5 came out, I thought he would be the type to like Impressionism. lol Me being an art nerd helps me characterize and relate to characters who have similar hobbies. :)

Generally though, people tend to write what they know. What they know usually comes from personal experience.

I'm not a writer at all, but imho, I think that everything you write has parts of yourself in it. I think that in fanfiction this shows up in the traits or quirks we attribute to the characters (the things that we have to make up, that aren't shown to us in canon)- we attribute those traits or quirks because when we try and relate to/understand the characters, that's what comes out. Those are our points of connection. And it is possible to write characters we don't fully understand or about things that we know little about, but we need to 'tree branch' ourselves to get there- we get as close as we can and then take a leap, sometimes, lol. And sometimes get a better understanding after we do.

I don't think there's any way to avoid including bits of ourselves in the things we write. Writing is a very personal, emotional sort of thing. I know I do it often, when it fits.

Yeah. ...though I sometimes wonder if things really fit or if I'm pushing points of comparison a bit far.

*wry* Lots of me comes through my writing, sometimes. I just... mostly hope that I have it camouflaged or tweaked enough that it doesn't make people cover their eyes and go "Augh augh augh put your id away, Em!"

*laugh* Well it hasn't bothered me, anyway. But yeah, I kinda feel the same. Especially when I write D1. Other pairings, not quite so much... Hakkai/Gojyo too, to some extent. So basically, the ones I really connect with and tend to get told I characterise well. Erm. *wry* I am really not sure what this says.

For me, incorporating bits of me is the only way to write. It just depends on which bit of myself to pick for each character and how much I suppress/exaggerate it...

Yeah, that's true. But I guess there are bits where I'm not actually conscious of it in the slightest, and fics where I'm very very aware that it's Really About Me... *laugh* I sometimes wonder if I cross some kind of a line. I did wonder that about Silver Bullet, really. It's kind of one of the prime examples.

I realised at some point that I was always writing about stepfamilies (not just the Bunch) and there was a very obvious reason for this, whether or not any of the characters might be considered to represent my personal P.O.V. It's actually quite disconcerting to spend time constructing something/someone you think is original and 100% fiction then realise that actually it isn't at all.

Not quite related but once I've met a writer or got to know them well, I find it almost impossible not to hear their personal voice in their writing.

I've had similar experiences once or twice, where I've only realised after the event just how personal something was. Even when it was something which would've probably been really quite obvious to anyone reading it who knew about the right bits of my background. It is disorientating, but in the end, I don't think it's bad.

I think I remember you talking about that before. I don't know if I find that in all cases but there are some people I know very well who I find that to be true for. Sometimes it seems a little weird but mostly I find it quite interesting.

I don't know about writing but I do know that there are usually very obvious reasons why I like characters are pairings, that have very much to do with my own issues. That would be reflected in any writing as well I'm sure.

I don't know why fandom is so afraid of this. It's a good thing. All other writers of fiction do it.

Yes, exactly... I really wonder sometimes why there seems to be a (general) attitude in fandom that it's not okay. I've been thinking far too hard about this today. I haven't actually arrived at any conclusions though, except 'well I don't actually give a damn what they think.' Which I guess turns out to be the answer to a lot of things.

I assume the fear comes from the Mary Sue issue. But there is a big difference between using your knowledge or experiences or feelings or whatever it is to write something, and going I'M THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN INU YASHA, AND ALSO THE BESTEST SO FALL ON YOUR KNEES AND WORSHIP MY AWESOME.

...and the OC thing has been bugging me too. I've heard a few people complaining about OCs when they actually seemed to mean Mary Sues, and saying they wouldn't read fic with OCs in or whatever. Whyyy. Of course some people write crap OCs. Some people write crap everything.

Mmph.

Oh and I like your Hakkai idea. I bet you already knew that.

^__^

My area of study: helping me write morbid and creepy characters since 2003.

Cats eating lasagne and it's not Garfield. Color me amazed. *grew up on Garfield comics/cartoons*

Thinking Writerly Thoughts

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