firstlight: (Default)
[personal profile] marshtide

Which I've been sitting on for ages as it's the name that hosts what tiny scraps of original fic I manage to post on LJ (nothing for ages so if you don't watch you're not missing out) and I rather like it; it feels a bit more Me than most names I've used.

(By the way, have I mentioned how bloody weird it is to me that the Baltic doesn't have tides? I grew up on the coast of the North Sea, and my brain thinks there should be a good metre and a half swing back and forth at the very, very least.)

Not that I know what I'll do with it yet. Definite lack of content going on right now.

But it's there!

(Added by default those of you who don't post on LJ. Anyone else is welcome to wander over as well, even though I don't know what I'll be doing there.)
firstlight: (Default)
Thinking about what to do with dreamwidth. Headscratching etc. I think I might shift to a clean account, actually, because I don't really want the mess that is my older LJ entries and can't really sort them out easily into any sort of coherence; I imported them just to see if I could without any clue as to what I might eventually do over here. (I'm still not sure, because I don't actually want to just mirror my LJ content, I think; I use LJ mostly for keeping up with people, at the moment. So something else. Public Swedish-language journal? Though there are more people who can understand on my LJ, and the filter - which I need to remember to use - is a less public showcase of linguistic wobbliness. Journal more purely for meta-type stuff? As if I write much, though I do have stray thoughts somethines. Hum.) What I do know is whatever I want I would prefer it to be in a place that feels less cluttered with things from long ago. I have one archive of all that crap, right back to when I was in my late teens and in a pretty rubbish relationship and all the rest.

So I'm thinking about that.

firstlight: (Default)
Liz says:
I feel like if I had today free I would probably go spend it outside and writing. something like that. actually I'd probably waste it procrastinating but that's how I SHOULD spend it.
Val says:
that does sound lovely
Liz says:
"This is one of the most singular experiences, waking on what feels like a good day, preparing to work but not yet actually embarked. At this moment there are infinite possibilities, whole hours ahead."
Val says:
oh. what is that?
Liz says:
from The Hours
Val says:
Liz says:
but not for me today. I'm already mentally stacking up all the other things I need to do before work. sad.
Val says:
Val says:
and then maybe tomorrow gets to be that day
Liz says:
I don't know. even on the ones when I really feel it work shows up too quickly. I mean, there are more of those days now, but I can't make use of them. *laughs* catch 22.
Val says:
yeah, I know. I feel like that now and then. but not very often.
Val says:
have to wake up even earlier than usual
Val says:
and not be too tired
Val says:
Liz says:
Liz says:
that's kind of the problem with the creative stuff. it needs a lot of time and space. even if you're only doing about half an hour or an hour's worth of writing it takes up more of a day than that
Val says:
Val says:
that's what A Room Of Ones Own is about, you know
Val says:
well. sort of.
Liz says:
Val says:
yes. well.
Val says:
it's about women writers and how women have never had their own space. this makes it more difficult to develop artistic gifts.
Val says:
and then she talks about a bunch of female writers and their careers and there is a section about Shakespeare's sister. it's very good.
Liz says:
I will get it out from the library. I think I need it.
Val says:
yes, required reading

So A Room Of One's Own is sitting in my bag now, along with The Hours and Orlando. Today hasn't been a creative day because, as alluded to above, creativity is often something I have to catch just right, with a good start, preferably early in the morning with the prospect of a decent day ahead. There are all sorts of problems with this and I think I've chewed most of them over in my mind pretty often by now. In the end I'm a writer - by which I mean someone who feels uneasy when not writing more than someone notably talented at writing - who all too often needs a little more stability or a little more than she has to function as such. Balancing stability and time is going to be the eternal battle, I suppose.

All the same, that little frustration aside (I could have written... what? no idea now), today has been a Good Day.

Dear Em,

May. 15th, 2009 04:34 pm
firstlight: (Default)
You're way too good to me. Thank you so much! :D :D :D

*cuddles books happily*

firstlight: (Default)
We've just had our first hot day of the year** which means I'm going through ritual seasonal irritation with my hair. Can I just hack my hair off to half an inch long or something? Can I? Okay, so it would look entirely ridiculous, but it wouldn't get in the way! Anyway, I really do need a haircut, my hair is down well past the base of my neck now. I need at least three inches hacked off, probably more. Now there's just that little question of affording it. I think I'm going to stalk the hairdressers in town tomorrow and see which ones do cheap cuts from apprentice hairdressers etc.

Of course if I hadn't randomly bought a waistcoat today this would be marginally less of an issue (although only marginally, since the waistcoat was very very cheap & haircuts are pretty expensive). I regret nothing, really, though. It's a neat but basic piece of clothing and I'm going to replace the buttons on it to make it more interesting - metal buttons maybe if I can find some I like, or anything else that catches my eye. I find myself wanting a shirt that buttons right up, as opposed to all the open-necked women's ones, and a tie or perhaps a cravat, and a pocket-watch. Have I mentioned that I'm feeling overtly eccentric again lately? It's been a couple of years and the direction has changed a bit (though really, I still love corsets as well, but you try improvising those kinds of outfits on minimal resources) but hey, I guess it doesn't go away. Being a little mad in the harmless sort of way makes me feel a bit more like myself, anyway. *wry* (Actually, I have quite a list of very very specific items of clothing I want right now. I know precisely what I'm looking for; it's just a question of finding it within budget. I'll be scavenging around for a few months, on and off, whenever I can spare a bit of money. And then it'll be too hot out to wear any of it. *laughs* Good grief, don't even get me started on how I feel about summer clothing.)

This entry sponsored by light evenings, light mornings, and temperatures over 20 degrees C. (I love one of these things. The other two are more dubious.)

** i.e. the same temperature as a pretty cool day in [personal profile] crystal's part of the world.
firstlight: (Default)
Eee, a paid account out of nowhere. :D Whoever materialised that one, thank you!

I'm still very much liking what I've seen of Dreamwidth but am feeling a bit torn on how to go about using it. It's that question of where the people are, of course, although I'm happy to see that quite a few people have a presence here now. I've imported my old journal entries, although most of them are entirely invisible as I haven't instituted any filters here and pretty much everything that wasn't public was filtered on my livejournal. In that respect it's mostly a personal archive and a useful duplicate. I don't feel that keen on crossposting everything from now on. I don't know. We'll have to see how this one shakes out. I want to do something here, for sure.
firstlight: (Strange and extravagant)
I saw these and thought of [ profile] solaas. (Or should that be [ profile] aquamane?)

The pictures are bad because I was taking them covertly in a shop. I am sorry.

Today: Carnaby street - closed vintage clothes shops (conspiracy?), no decent converse, many amazing toys. Moomins, toast, the black knight, "what the hell is that?!" "I have no idea!". Camden - getting lost in music shops, cool jackets, I Have No Memory Of This Place, Banksy prints ("I am your father"), gay gum, "let's run away before it takes any more of our money". Wagamama. Syl. Picadilly - the Royal Academy of Arts. Kuniyoshi. Briefly pretending to be intellectuals (or not). Strongwoman O-Kane strikes again! Tentacles also. All kinds of pretty. That Awesome Japanese Sweet Shop.

firstlight: (Gay Empire)
Hi Internet. Today I read a paper titled Kukai and the Tradition of Male Love in Japanese Buddhism. It provided me with many... gems.

There is a book attributed to Kobo Daishi (the monk who supposedly invented Japanese homosexuality -- yes, really). He didn't actually write it. But you know. The introduction talks about a man who prayed to Kobo Daishi so that he could learn "the mysteries of loving boys in Japan":

On the seventeenth day of the man's austerities, Kobo Daishi appears and agrees to present him with a one-volume book explaining the love of boys, the basics of which "even the monkeys of the hills and fields can comprehend."

Pez: Homosexuality for Dummies?
Val: ...I'd buy that book.**
Liz: Can we photoshop that onto a picture of Kobo Daishi...?

** but presumably not off amazon.

Then the body of the text. It talks about hand-gestures and what they mean. Then it talks about how to seduce acolytes:

If an acolyte practices martial arts, be sure to praise his swordsmanship. Then tell him some warrior tales. Things will proceed naturally from there.

Before snow accumulates,
it is shaken off the branches;
in a windy pine, snow breaks no limbs.

Right. (A lot of the descriptions have random poetry. It's great.)

You don't know what it tells you to do with an acolyte who is "very beautiful but insensitive to love." Anyway, I'd have to cut this entry if I included that bit, since it's completely not safe for work.


If an acolyte is too shy to show himself to you, delay by plucking the hairs of your nose and then try again.

Val: Are you meant to do this in the acolyte's presence?
Liz: It doesn't say...

Then the third part talks about what to do AFTER you've managed to seduce your acolyte of choice! Some of the options are... concerning. The less said about that the better, but one of them involves the word tearing. Not in relation to clothes. Others sound a lot less traumatic.

The paper also talks about a book called The Great Mirror of Male Love by Ihara Saikaku. In the introduction Saikaku says that Kobo Daishi did not preach the profound pleasure of this love [of boys] outside of monasteries because he feared the extinction of humankind.


I feel enlightened.
firstlight: (Default)
I tried to import my icons from LJ to DW, but it didn't work -- just imported the keywords for my default icon over there (not even the icon itself) and then claimed it had succeeded and stopped. Oops! Ah, well, beta. *g* (I'm still just sort of poking around the site and playing with things a bit to see what they do.)
firstlight: (Default)
If you've found me here somehow and don't already know me (cannot imagine this will prove a common event) then let's have a quick run-down:

I'm a trained archaeologist and an untrained library assistant (a protolibrarian, if you will); I work on a voluntary basis at a local library. I'm in my early 20s. I've been active in various anime/manga fandoms since 2005, and before that I lived in a quiet corner of Lord of the Rings fandom and didn't notice much of what went on at all. Right now I only have slightly nostalgic fandoms. I lack a current obsession, although I'm a writer of sorts, or at least a small mass of writerly angst, which sort of fills the gap. I read a lot, too. I'm not predominantly heterosexual but beyond that I tend to get confused as to where precisely I stand. I can happily geek over books, comics, and various dice-based roleplaying things. It's possible my view on the world is a bit odd but I like to hope I'm more baffling than offensive (although I'm pretty sure I can manage irritatingly vague). I'm rather British, liberal but mostly annoyed with the entirety of my government regardless of party tags, and have no religious beliefs, having been raised by a devout atheist and a laid-back christian. I'm unwell quite a lot. Music is important to me. I often forget that TV exists. In an ideal world I would wander around in a three-piece suit with an amazing hat and a pocket-watch just because I could. I miss having neon hair (any colour). Sometimes I want to run away to Sweden. Red shoes are the best shoes, and the best kind of floor-covering is one you can cat-proof. I'm alternately extremely organised and in state of complete chaos. I live with a mad engineer (not my partner, except in creative evil) and a madder cat. My relationship status can be summarised as "I'll think about trying to explain if you feed me half a bottle of vodka, but not before."

My journal name this time comes from a VNV Nation song. (Firstlight/Arclight.) I don't pick 'em for massive personal significance. I don't know how.

Well, wasn't that uninformative? :)
firstlight: (Default)
This is Liz, Giving Ground, Virtual Light, Orphean. I have a complete inability to pick an identity and run with it, so you'll have to keep scratching your heads over who I am in any given place, I'm afraid.

I'm not sure what to do with DreamWidth but I suppose I was curious as to how the whole thing would hang together, so here I am. Curiosity, meet the cat; you'll get on brilliantly.
firstlight: (This is home)
All the same, I wish I did have some words to say for you, to scratch at the surface of what I feel or to sum up some part of your meaning. Even if I had to borrow them from someone else.

I'm sure they must be somewhere out there. But probably no-one else's would be quite right.

We'll have to see if I can find some of my own for you by this time next year. I don't know, but I will try.

I know you can wait.
firstlight: (Konzen & Goku)

firstlight: (Discworld - ahahaha!)
Val posted this yesterday so some of you will have already seen it, but for those of you who don't have the good fortune to be on her friendslist I must re-share. It is important that as many people as possible see this.

The Oddest Book Titles

Application of High Tech Squids?

Lesbian Sadomasochism Safety Manual?

Versailles: The View From Sweden?*

Oral Sadism and the Vegetarian Personality?

Explosive Spiders and How to Make Them?

...Penetrating Wagner's Ring????


* This does remind me of a moment at Arlanda Airport which Val may recall... "Somehow I always thought it would be bigger."
firstlight: (Illumi - <3)
Love me! *attention-whores* XD;;; (No. I cannot be bothered to go the socially acceptable route and just do one of those love-meme things. Shut up. Or ignore me. EVERYONE ELSE DOES. :D)

For valentine's day I received some cat-drool and a hairball. It's all good. Rather that than most of the things Pez and I spotted in shops around Colchester the other day. There are some true pink-and-red horrors out there.

Lynn ([ profile] readerofasaph) apparently wants to outread me this year. I'm finding this endlessly amusing, sorry Lynn. So far I believe she's on one book and I'm on eleven -- well. I've read 11 and I'm reading 2. Of course, Val ([ profile] firescribble) is on twenty-five, so I don't actually get to feel that superior. And I refuse to even think about how much Em has probably read this year.

The Lies of Locke Lamora - Scott Lynch
Red Seas Under Red Skies - Scott Lynch
The Warrior's Apprentice - Lois McMaster Bujold
Fairyland - Paul J McAuley
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami
Nation - Terry Pratchett
The Uncommon Reader - Alan Bennett
Broken Angels - Richard Morgan
Odd and the Frost Giants - Neil Gaiman
To Say Nothing Of The Dog - Connie Willis
A Winter Book - Tove Jansson

I'm currently reading:
The Book Thief - Markus Zusak
The Prestige - Christopher Priest

I'd really like to read some more by Tove Jansson. I found her writing totally captivating. Also I may go a little mad waiting for another book from Scott Lynch. And The Prestige is good but of course reduced in mind-fuck value by having seen the film previously. Apparently it's the most sane and straightforward of Priest's books, though. Which I think basically means I'll have to check out the rest at some stage. I've been lent Doomsday Book by Connie Willis which is apparently in the same setting as To Say Nothing Of The Dog but different in tone.

(I should take new photos of my bookshelves. *laughs* They were pretty much full when we moved in, after all, and the books have multiplied a lot since then. We fitted two extra shelves into the units, and probably have space for about three or four more books left on those...)
firstlight: (Hitchhiker's Guide - beware!)
The book of the moment is The Book Thief (Markus Zusak). Every time I pick it up I find it really interesting, but it's a lot harder to get through than any other book I've read lately. I find myself stopping a lot more, putting it aside to do other things. I'm enjoying it but in a different sort of way, I suppose. Perhaps it lacks a little of the pull of some others I've read recently, or perhaps tiredness is getting the better of me. Sometimes it's hard to tell. I'm pretty sure it's a good book but I'm not tearing through it. (I'm still only about 180 pages in.)

Tonight I'm going to do some gaming for the first time in a couple of years. Has it really been that long? I guess so. Anyway, we'll see how it goes; I'm feeling a lot more capable of socialising now than last time I was invited, at any rate!

I just have to say that I really love waking up to find bizarre emails about, for example, what homosexuals did for entertainment in Victorian England in my inbox. It always makes my morning a little brighter. (This is a thinly-veiled declaration of love for [ profile] firescribble. Again.)

ETA: My current writing project is the Agatha Pitt Mystery [friendslocked], as Unni has dubbed it. It's all terribly mysterious. No-one is entirely sure what the crime was, or even if one took place. It is also currently not making any sense, but I suppose that's what heavy revision at a later date is for.

ETA2: I've recently located some archaeologists, and I've been trying to sort out some tail-ends from an old project as well, so I've been thinking more about that topic lately. This reminded me of one of the Stories. Since a lot of you weren't around when my adventures with the London Wall and the Corporation of London took place, I thought I'd dust the tale off and dig out some old posts! Oh, nostalgia.

1. The Corporation of London vs. Tourism and Cultural Heritage, "We here in London like to keep our cultural heritage locked up in case it gets out and attacks someone."

2. Hairdressing and Ancient Monuments. No, really.

(And one day I'll have to tell you about the Phenomenology... it's activated.)
firstlight: (Discworld - Elementary Necromancy)
[ profile] solaas says:
They have good displays at the museum in Ueno.
[ profile] giving_ground says:
yeah, we went there
[ profile] giving_ground says:
was really good
[ profile] solaas says:
The one thing I really missed, was in the section of good from the
"keyhole" tombs. I wish they had done a display, or at least a
drawing, on the interior layout of the tombs.
[ profile] giving_ground says:
[ profile] giving_ground says:
[ profile] solaas says:
This does not surprise me in the LEAST.
[ profile] giving_ground says:
[ profile] solaas says:
[ profile] solaas says:
You're kinda predictable in that respect. <3
[ profile] giving_ground says:
[ profile] solaas says:
You're such a cute little ghoul. <3
firstlight: (Tenpou - books)
The Uncommon Reader (Alan Bennett) is an absolutely lovely little book. It made me smile a lot. (It also reminded me of the existence of the book Howard's End by EM Forster and that particular passage about Beethoven's Fifth, which I remember being very fond of but which I haven't read since, oh, my early teens. Hmm.)

Broken Angels (Richard Morgan) contains considerably more archaeology than I was somehow expecting! Onward. :)

(This is me actually keeping a record of what I'm reading.)
firstlight: (Yukimura - Blossom)
This is still one of the best minimal-effort recipes ever. Of course I have to use gluten-free soy sauce and check the bottle of the mirin to make sure it's one of the safe ones, but those are things I have around anyway. I have periods of total ambivalence about food in general, but I'm not sure I'm ever not in the mood for this one...

(Must remember stockpile mirin when I'm next in London, actually -- although I've substituted other alcohols in and added a bit of extra sugar in the past, and it's worked fine. Sake and chinese cooking wine have been successfully deployed, in moments of "well, what DO you have in your cupboard, then?" mid-cooking. This happens more than you might think... *coughs* Slightly different taste, but the overall effect is the same.)

ETA: While I'm on the topic of food, I really must check out (and recommend that those of you inclined to cook also check out) some of these recipes. I totally forgot to watch Anjum Anand's latest season after the first couple of episodes, but I'm prepared to bet most of it is pretty delicious. The plus sides to it being indian food are that: 1) there is ALMOST NO WHEAT FLOUR IN ANYTHING and 2) there's nice-looking vegetarian stuff. Something for everyone except people who hate indian food, and... they're just overly picky, damn it. *g*


firstlight: (Default)

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